Honest Baking Supplies

Chocolate chips lace the Kitchener floor. She gasps and smiles sheepishly, mouthing the word "clumsy", followed by a quick apology for wasting my last 5 bones and having me eat sugar cookies on top of it all. It's funny though, because I don't ever remember thinking about her as a clumsy girl. In fact, watching her slender back and petite shoulders reach towards the back shelf for the chocolate chips in the first place was the least clumsiest action I'd ever seen all year; well worth the simplified cookie batter.

I see her bend down in the corner of my eye, I feel her tug on my frosty pant leg to bend down too. She's making words with her hands. With fallen chocolate, twigs and pine needles. I watch each letter being painstakingly aligned, I smile at each chocolate chip being gently pushed into place, I envy each pine needle feeling a warm squeeze of the perfectionist's doubt between her fingertips before being placed down into a full-bodied word.

Quieter, and quieter, our breathing sounds are the only thing left, and the sound of my feet shuffling closer to her. I slip my hand into hers, squatting over "LICK" "DAIRY" "PURPOSE?" It's not perfect. I'm so relieved. It gets so quiet that I can no longer focus on the chocolate-framed words because each perfectly rounded dollop of chocolate in sight is making me thinking of the perfect "O" her mouth keeps as she concentrates furiously on now creating words that mirror what she's feeling inside - towards me. "PRESS" "BITE" "REPEAT." The words are devastatingly enticing. She unbuttons my pea coat and collared shirt, looks at me, then begins to slowly rub my flushed skin with glittering eyes. I'm on the verge of disbelief - but not for long. I feel the heat escape my body quickly and rush back into my core with vigor through the left side of my chest. It's not perfect. I'm so relieved.

Downtown Kitchener is full of little places for girls to write words, even entire books with their hands on another person's body, instead of on the floor. I don't think my body is exactly a step up from the icy floor, but my body is warmer, for now.