Hey my name is donna. i've been listening to a lot of music lately, trying to shift this weight on my chest out of its place, even if just for a bit. a lot of pain inside of me lately. there is a lot of anger inside of me. it's pretty raw, feel raw all of the time. I feel raw all of the time and I don't know how to make it stop. I feel like i'm holding my breath and no one and nothing is coming to relieve me or stop me from dying. I feel like i'm pretty close to drowning, all I have to do is remove my hand from over my mouth and nose and I'm gone. There's not much between me and death haha, not much at all. Sometimes I feel like the entire world has got it figured out, but I don't. I simply go through life in a muddled haze, half-pondered ideas, fragmented fragments. It's not structured and there's no control. Ever. I worry as much as I always have, but now that the drugs and the pills and the clock have been introduced it's a bit surreal, and I realize that in the end I'll never get out unscathed. We all have our demons and mine are great, I've done some bad things and I will have to endure those things on my own, and that's my reality. it's not a bad